HAPPY TRIP 7: Raising Miss Smartypants

My six-year-old little princess got hold of a Dave Barry book. After two minutes she asked: “Daddy, what’s ‘venereal disease’?”

Another five minutes passed and she went: “Daddy, what’s ‘loin of passion’?”

Aaaargh!!! Drop that trash, kid!

Whatever happened to Snow White and the Seven Fucking Dwarfs?

***

Watching Starstruck on TV the other night, she snapped disdainfully: “You call THAT a dance?”

And that was said with matching kilay tu tawsan.

***

Watching Starstruck again the following night, I preempted her by hastily remarking: “You call THAT a song? Er… You call THAT singing?”

“The second one is correct, Daddy” she deadpanned.

***

For Christmas, she wanted a Polly-Pocket-doll-on-a-limo more than anything else. When she got it on Christmas morning, she went up to us and said seriously: “I don’t know how to thank you…. really!”

***

To be continued…

BAD TRIP 11: Out of the mouths of babes....

My six-year-old niece went up to me and asked: “Tito Miki, ano ang trabaho mo?”

I was stumped. How do you explain to a six-year-old that I am in fact in community development work? If I had been a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or teacher, things would have been simpler.

Caught unprepared, I mumbled rather vaguely: “Ah, kuwan… tumutulong ako sa mga mahihirap!”

Bwelta ang bolinggit: “Bakit?”

Ako: “Para gumanda ang buhay nila. Para sila yumaman.”

Bolinggit: “Eh bakit ikaw, hindi?”

Oo nga naman.